Flares

I'm really trying not to whine in my posts but to use this as a way to educate my friends and others about what it feels like to have fibro.  Even when my posts don't directly talk about fibro they let you in on what my brain is thinking as I grapple with this condition.

Today I'm going to talk about flares.  A flare is when the fibro decides to be really ugly for a bit and the pain goes well beyond your every day pain.  Some flares are brief, a few days and others last much longer.  I'm in the midst of one right now.  For the past few days my legs have hurt so badly that I can barely walk.  My arms are so weak that holding the phone is impossible (thank heaven for earpieces) and my hands keep doing strange things that include being so sensitive that touching anything hurts.  My skin is so sensitive right now that putting lotion on this morning made me howl. 

To help you understand how this feels I'll tell you this, I took the day off from work.  If you know me you know that I have to be puking or running a fever that is so high people will be able to feel the heat rolling off me (and they'd tell me to go home).  I'm just not the take the day off work type.  I've been working with this flare for the past couple of days but knowing that today I wasn't going to be teaching I took the opporunity to stay home.  I've been wrapped in my electric blanket (so glad the electricity didn't go out in this heinous weather) and I napped a bit this afternoon (though not well since I fell asleep in my chair in the living room). 

Some of you might say, well why don't you take something for the additional pain?? Well, when you're already on pain meds you can't do that.  You have to find other ways to get through.  For me that means being in super soft clothes (though if you see me regularly you probably realize that I don't wear anything other than super soft knits ever), being  wrapped up to stay warm (usually in my cuddly heated fleece-thanks to my wonderful hubby for buying that for me) and wearing shoes and socks that are super cushy.  It also means attempting to get as much deep sleep as possible.  I need deep sleep to help the pain mechanisms in my body shut down.  The trouble is when you hurt this much it's nearly impossible to sleep because you can't find a spot to lay that doesn't touch a hurting part of your body. 

While people who've seen me in the past few days probably haven't noticed anything (that old "you don't look sick" thing) I've been sitting more, not walking steps and just keeping to myself.  I'm finally realizing that I have to take some time for me to feel better so I can do the things I need to do better.  Of course I'll still continue to put everyone before myself.  That's just who I am.